Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Being an Orioles fan....

...Or, the 162 Days of Night.

In the graphic novel, 30 days of night. A town in Alaska is tormented by a sect of zombie-like vampires during a night that lasts 30 days. Well being an Orioles fan is a lot like that. Our vampires? Yankee fans. And once again the summer-long night will continue in Baltimore as the hordes of soul-sucking troglodytes descend upon Camden Yards to gloat, rub-it-in and perform all sorts of douchebaggery.

Looking back to January, there was so much promise. Our chief concern was how bad Steve Trachsel would be. We never thought that the offense would be as thin and anemic as Nichole Richie on day 3 of a 6 day bender. We never thought that the retooled bullpen would be giving it up like Nichole Richie on day 4 of a 6 day bender. We never
thought that Miguel Tejada would go down like...well you see where I'm going with this.

Oh, about Miguel, look at this picture, see it? Good because that is the last time you will see Tejada in an Orioles uniform until August. According to the Baltimore Sun.

As we approach the mid point of the season the Orioles are left in a rather unique area. They need to be sellers, but there is no one on the roster that is performing at a high enough level TO trade. You hear the usual suspects. Bedard, Cabrera and Ray. Gibbons and Patterson were prime trade bait thoughts in January, but they are playing so poorly that we would get little if anything useful for them. In a fit of delicious irony Trachsel is probably one of the more tradeable pieces we have.

Someone has a real sick sense of humor in the world.

So far, O's fans, its been pretty dark. But when the night is darkest, the stars shine brighter. Jeremy Guthrie IS that star. His performance has been beyond exemplary thus far. And tonight he goes up against a Yankee squad whom, despite their slack-jawed fan's boasts, is only a torrid 10 day period better than the O's. The Yanks sit a game under .500, a virtual dozen games off the pace, a steroid scandal in their laps and a patchwork pitching staff that is relying on the middle-aged arms and legs of a twice retired Roger Clemens to carry them the rest of the way. The Orioles will send their three best pitchers against them in these games attempting to put some orange-colored nails in the pinstriper's coffin.

It will take an out-right sweep of the Yankees to bring any life to the Orioles and their fans, which are in the middle of yet another summer-long suckerpunch. But through all the gloom I say one last thing: Go Birds!

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